tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86241779354204124362024-03-13T22:23:28.973-04:00The Lunch TableJust about anything comes up here.Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-20724790275642074532009-06-11T17:25:00.003-04:002009-06-11T17:34:31.563-04:00I've Moved<a href=" http://firsthighschoolsummer.blogspot.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h77/singing_4_life/cute%20icons/Quotes.jpg" border="0" alt="Quotes Pictures, Images and Photos"/></a><br /><br /> Come check out my new blog.<br /><br />The pics a link, aren't I so smart :)Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-48022082932587292572009-06-10T23:54:00.002-04:002009-06-11T00:20:45.355-04:00Years BeforeWell its finally here. The summer of '09 is here. We are officially out of school for the year. <br /><br />I thought I would be thrilled. But right now I'm just kinda bummed. Things just didn't end like years before. Normally you spend all day like debating wether or not you should do something, then kick your self for not doing it. I didn't do that this year. I know, I know, pick your jaw up from the floor. I felt no need to do anything really. I just want to get up north and escape this town for a little while. I want to get back to myself. I've just been seeing myself slip more and more away. I just need to get up there and put all this Freshman Year drama out of my mind until our high school reunion in 20 years, by then all this shit will seem like breaking a nail. Up North hopefully I will find my reset button. I also need time just to unwind. I've just been so worried that something else is going to be thrown at me to deal with. I already had to deal with my dad going to the nut house. It doesn't help that we can no longer make plans that are a month away do to the fact that things happen in our family that can make you feel like a turtle stuck on its back in a plastic tube with a 7 year old looking down on you. <br /><br />On a happyish note, Adam's letting me shave his head on Friday. It's really considered tomorrow but I don't care. I feel bad though because I didn't/haven't invited Joe. And he's really been there for me lately but I really want Evona to be able to come. It's so hard to pick between people! <br /><br />Hopefully my grandma's new neighbor boys are cute. I hope there not fat ugly hobo type guys. That would be a total let down, Nessa and I will like die if we get up there and they're belly button itchers. I hope driver's Ed goes good up there. I've so nerves about it. I really want to meet new people, it's like worrying about going to a new school. Well kind of is like going to a new school. I'll have to ask Sara about the people there. I don't know if I should mention that shes my cousin what if she has a horrible reputation there and I have like shunned or worse teased beyond end.<br /><br />I need to be a nerd when I get up there and go to the library there's a new authur I want to check out. She looks pretty good so I want to get back to reading I think thats another reason that I'm so different lately I stopped reading.<br /><br />Oh well I don't feel like writing anymore, I'm playing 20 questions with Michael, shhh don't tell my ideas mascara he'll never get it. :)<br /><br />~NatalieFranciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-48564082291599071052009-05-23T00:41:00.002-04:002009-05-23T01:09:14.676-04:00Who Did ItIn my last post who know how long ago, I told someone to pinch me. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. I want to a have talk with the little fucker who actually did. Because I woke up and now its hell. You can't even tell that we even knew each other. And the hardest part, the part that drives me over the edge on this whole thing, the part that ticks away at me, its that its all I can think about. I hate to talk about it cuz I don't want people to know that what I think about cuz its been like 3 weeks and I need to just get over it. But its so hard. He cut me off cold turkey. Okay maybe not cuz there were those 3 weeks were he must have been easing me off him, preparing me for that Sunday morning that he make a big fuckin mark on how I'll remember Freshman year. I'm pretty much over it, there's just so many unanswered questions and its like were dead to each other. Like we can feel each others presents but we would feel crazy actually talking to each other. I lost a best friend and it kills me to see him alone. I just wish I could read his mind. I know it sounds stupid and self centered but I sometimes wonder if he a) feels guilty for doing it or b) regrets breaking up with me. I know they're both totally not possible. I just miss him sometimes... like when I look over and he's standing all along like at time where he used to be over with me with his arms around my waist and his head on my shoulder. Over the hug and accessional kiss goodbye. I'm a crazy stalker...I know I have problems. I have counted 3 times where I have actually bit my tongue from trying to talk to him. I think I'm just scared of being rejected by him again. I don't think I could keep a happy face if he didn't talk back. I'm sick to my stomach just thinking about it. I miss those nights where he held me tight and me both let out a breath as who ever came to check on us left, then fell on to each other smiling about how close we came to being caught. I have come to the conclusion that after I've thought about all the memories at least once then I will be over him... I've got a long ways to go. I know I'm going on about this but this is my way of venting what I've been thinking about and if you have a problem then just click a link and don't read this anymore.<div>
<br /></div><div>I'm crazy. I'm a stalker. I notice things I shouldn't. I hear conversations I shouldn't. I answer questions that I shouldn't. I do tons of little stupid things I shouldn't. I'm finding my self becoming a bitch that is very bitchy. I have high highs and low lows. I can be all jumpy and happy then I remember somthing I messed up or jacked up or notice something that reminds me of him and then I'll bitch you out if you fuck with me. I'm also like super jumpy. Like a little noises and actions, my head with flash in that direction. I'm changing all the time.</div>
<br /><div>I gave up eating anything with a sugar content <6.><div>
<br /></div><div>We go a hamster. Its a robot dwarf. My brother named it Cynthia. Its cute.</div><div>
<br /></div><div>I'm getting tiered and starting to write 4 wrote sentences so I'm ganna bring this to a close. Night.</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-58331643955471135412009-03-22T21:52:00.003-04:002009-03-22T22:24:47.618-04:00LatelyOmg, pinch me. Seriously. Like everyday seems like its a dream! Everything thats been happening lately. Okay so not everything. I could make a really long list of things that I wish weren't happening. And when I think of that I get a little down and wish I could fully fix that. ANYWAY finally being with Trevor is like ahhhh. 3 months ago if you had asked me if I ever thought that I would be hiding in the laundry room with Trevor 'helping him find his shoes' I would ask you if you hit your head. I would say that actually being with Trevor was only ever going to happen in my dreams. But now ahhhh. :) :) :)<div><br /></div><div>But its hard to balance things sometimes between him and my friends. At first we were having people hang out with us but now its just been the two of us. (and at least one parent, not that my mom cares...well yea she does but like not like shes ganna make us sit of opposite sides of the couch) Idk much about it but Bail seems to only hangout with Cody and I don't want to be like that. I want to have like more good friends that I hang out with then Trevor. It scares the carp out of me to imagine a life where he was my only close friend. That would be freaky, I love my friends and the would get annoying. </div><div><br /></div><div>And I could have done with out one of my best friends telling me she likes me boyfriend and then like 2 weeks later of me going out him, saying (in a way) that she still liked him. </div><div><br /></div><div>But man I love like the people I've meet being in Geo and I have come to love running (most the time) I miss last semester not that I really remember most of it but like the flow it had and the idk homieness it had idk it was more IDK it was just so different. I have also only found myself only getting on the computer like 4 times a week TOTAL. Its really weird. But like its normal. On Friday and Saturday nights its like duh I'm not ganna get on and then Sundays go by REALLY so slow. My mom was teaseing me today she was like omg are you going to live your ganna go a whole day with out seeing each other. I'm like har diddy har har your soooo funny. Then she makes fun of me for how much me and Trevor are touch or holding hand and I was like whatever your just jealous and if dad did touch you, you would be like 'are you ok? did you take your meds' she stopped lol mean I know but it worked. </div><div><br /></div><div>I just got contacts :) yay! I know lol. I went back today for my follow up thing and that guy could like careless so it was fast i was like SWEET. and I got my years worth. Omg Sat. night my contact fell out in the laundry room, it hit the floor lol Trevor had to find it. The was right after our parents realized they could see us in the reflection of a picture. But I don't think they could see us the whole time cuz we had moved and then they were like 'how does he still not have his shoes on. Heyy look we can see them. You two know we can see your every move' awesome times lol. I had to go put my grey glasses on. And the night continued...lol</div><div> </div><div>OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT NEXT WEEKEND LEADS TO SPRING BREAKE! YESSSSSSS!!! OMG THAT AWESOME! OMG I HADN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT!!!</div><div><br /></div><div>Kk well I have to go to bed or I'll be crabby. Its this new habit I have developed going to be before 11. Its freaky... almost scary. Like live changing almost... on weeknights lol. </div><div><br /></div><div>Adios</div><div>Hasta se habla de nuevo.</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-91268844912673174042009-02-08T00:05:00.003-05:002009-02-08T00:32:56.844-05:00Want<span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I don't know what it is this winter but I am dying to go up north. Normally I don't get this restless until the end of May but this year I just want to see that lake so bad!<div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>I want see the sun set on it. I want to be in the water tying to swim and touch the bottom before Zach. I want to be in the kayak going up river from one grandma's house to the other. I want to riding shot gun with my arm out the window on my way to the gas station to pick up worms to go fishing. I want to be in the pontoon boat watching my brother have the time of his life steering. I want to be sitting on the beach with ALL of my family and listening to the local singer 'famous' singer who my mom dated in high school. I want to be on the paddle boat with Jake and Nessa arguing wither or not to go on the other side of the island. I want to be walking out side The Kingston after a moive with Zach and Nessa waiting for our ride home and seeing at least 2 other cousins drive or walk by. I want to be standing on the dock with my cousin daring each other to jump in to the freezing river water in early June. I want to be hitting 55 on the wave runner in the middle of the lake after we noticed that we didn't have much gas left. I want to hear everyone laugh as Aunt Shirley pulls in the driveway up the hill just as we are about to push off the dock in the boat. I want to be on Memeres dock at 1 AM, diving into the water warm from the summer sun. I want to be sitting on the deck with Nessa as we paint our toe nails wild colors. I want to be running on the beach while at the park looking at the bridge across Lake Huron. I want to be dreaming with Zach as we ride out bikes to the middle of no where yet ride in town. I want to be crying out of laughter with Jake as we try and sit on the burning hot leather of the wave runner. I want to lying with Zach and Jake as we die laughing over Nessa's sleep talking. I want to be jam packed in the car with Brandon, Zach, Jake, Nessa, and GG plus all our bags for 4 and a half hours on the day after school gets out. I want to I want to just see mile marker 313. I just want to see that Cheyboygan County sign. </div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-25938928265587341812009-02-05T22:07:00.001-05:002009-02-05T22:07:52.514-05:00Why...?<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(85, 85, 85); font-family: tahoma; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; "><div>why does it have to be like this?<br /></div><div>why does it have to be that same everyday?</div><div>why can it be NORMAL...</div><div>why can't it be like a fairy tale?</div><div>why can't it be like a fictional book?</div><div>why is it so HARD...</div><div>why isn't it a simple yes or no?</div><div>why isn't it easy to figure out?</div><div>why should it be EASY...</div><div>why shouldn't it be like everything else?</div><div>why shouldn't it be something different everyday?</div><div>Why...</div><div><br /></div><div>As Dornfeld says emotional problems aren't a part a science. If it can't be solved using one of your five senses then its not science. I wish it was, I wish there was just some equation to memorize or formula or phrase or order that you could just use to solve EVERYTHING. Something that could fix ANY problem, any conflict, ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. But there isn't... so were stuck with the Who, What, Where, When, and Why questions. </div></span>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-56090884643475849632008-12-07T02:01:00.005-05:002008-12-07T02:14:41.573-05:00TodaySo today I went with my brother to his friends B-day party at Micky D's and I went to the back of the restaurant area and used there high-speed and played this pictionary game with erin online. It was pretty cool. My brother keep running out to tell me things liek ever 20 min even though each time he came out I told him not to come back out. It never works. <div><br /></div><div>After that we went to payless to look at boots and they only had TWO pair and one pair was expense and the other pair was ugly and expense. This freaky had to be gay sales man kinda followed us around talking, it was weird you could tell why we were the only people in the store. </div><div><br /></div><div>After that lol we went to Walmart. I found boots there :) I love them. Then we got part of my friends x-mas gifts. That took forever. Its always hard to pick. Then my mom got some fabric stuff and we got some pillows and we left. We were in there for like 3 hours my god it was a long time.</div><div><br /></div><div> Once we left there we went to my grandparents. My grandma had a few dresses she wanted me to look at that she had found. One was cute the other idk. Then she made us dinner and we watch the USC and UCLA football game at the Rose Bowl. That was a bad game lol. I didn't want it to close. I showing off my new boots and my brother showed off his new shoes and we talked about Christmas plans. I fell asleep on the ride home lol when we got home we watched House, Fringe, and My name is Earl that was on our weekly DVR made by my grandpa lol. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tomorrow/ Later today we get to put up the Christmas Decorations. YAY! not its always arguing cuz all the family is doing it together and my dad always gets on my nerves and then we start fighting so I think I'll just dance around and lift heavy thing when they need to be and change the radio every 5 seconds no one will notice that I'm not helping that much lol this all will happen after I get up at the lastest time I can before my mom comes in and sings RISE AND SHIN AND GIVE GOD YOUR GLORY GLORY. or they open the door and my brothers talking wakes me up, he NEVER shuts up. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ok well that about it</div><div><br /></div><div>Natly </div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-82214379030173814432008-12-06T00:32:00.003-05:002008-12-06T00:45:10.744-05:00High SchoolSo I always thought I had the friends that wouldn't change in high school. We were ganna be together for like all of us together. But that was a middle school dream. Adam and Jessi be came more then friends, then Erin left the lunch table permanently, Me and Evona are becoming better friends and Trevor's becoming a friend to all of us. <div><br /></div><div>Were changing, some would say maturing, but idk that the exact concept of that word would work for this change. We no longer are so mean we are be coming more caring to each other, not so many insults that are random. We are more open if we think of a idea we share it and family relationships are told. We no longer fight over who sits where we kind of just sit and talk and share ideas, thoughts, and food. We've gotten used to sitting with only 5 people it was odd at first as Erin used to put it the table was uneven lol. Now it seems normal. Rouster has been becoming more and more involved in our lunch. So its not that off set. </div><div><br /></div><div>Today Trevor stole my lunch box (I found it after it went missing for 3 days it was as Jessi suggested under my bed lol) then he smacked me in the face with it so i smacked him in the face with my hand lol. Then I started talking and it did it again the we fought over whether or not i got to hit him back. I did when he wasnt expecting it and it was funny. We went and sang Happy Birthday to Ryan at lunch and he was all red lol it was funny. </div><div><br /></div><div>We got our school pictures back and idk about mine. My moms trying to get me to give wallet sizes out to my friends but idk that kinda wierd. I'll bring it up at lunch.</div><div><br /></div><div>We had chair tests and I got a 16, I'm not last chair. </div><div><br /></div><div>My quilting thing is in a week exactly idk whos coming only like 3 people that I'm sure of lol. Its ganna be great lol</div><div><br /></div><div>Ok well I'm tierd if you look before this post theres the short story.</div><div><br /></div><div>Luv Y'all</div><div><br /></div><div>Nat</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-64806605841754448562008-12-06T00:29:00.000-05:002008-12-06T00:32:27.786-05:00Baby Brother<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">She fell to her knees in the deserted cemetery. She pounded her weak fists on the cold muddy soil. She let out a loud sob and more salty tears ran down her numb pink checks. Why she thought, why him. Out of all the people there, why was he the one not to get away fast enough. He had so much life left to live, so many dreams to fulfill, so many memories to gain.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>A crack of thunder sounded and she began to shake. She thought of how much he cared for not only her but everything. Everything brought up a story for him, he was never silent. Not even in his sleep, he would mumble about becoming that football star he wanted to be so bad. The little uniform he put together with his hammy down jerseys, sweat pants, and tube socks.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>All the memories of him got the best of her and she fell limp to the wet October ground. Rolling to her back she laid there and felt the cool drizzle of rain touch her face. Closing her eyes she brought back a memory of him splashing in a puddle no bigger then what’s left on the bathroom floor after a shower. He had found so much joy in watching the water spread in all different directions. She remembered scolding him for getting his shoes muddy before school. Now she regretted making him stop when she should have joined him.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>Slowly she climbed back up to her knees and softly rubbed her hand against the moist grave stone. She felt the indentation of the date he died on the headstone. A day that would too be indented into her mind, a morning that would never leave her memory no matter how long she lived. He had tried his best to behave that week and his reward was getting to go to the high school football game on Saturday. He was up until nearly eleven the night before making sure his imitation uniform was perfect. He never got to go to that game. His love for that damn football prevented him from making it there.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>The drizzling rain became heavy drops and they began to form puddles in random spots around her. The filling of the puddles was just like how his life filled hers and so many others. His voice was known by many. Anyone that met him knew they would never meet anyone else with that level of enthusiasm. The littlest things thrilled him. Like the day he discovered ‘toe jam’. The little fuzz balls that stay between your toes when you take your socks off. He had everyone in the house take off their socks and he checked for ‘toe jam’. If he found some he would jump back in surprise and announce it happily to everyone what color it was.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>She heard leaves crunching behind her. Someone was coming down the path. For a second a thought crossed her mind of what she must look like but she soon forgot about it. She didn’t care about it. She didn’t care about anything anymore. He had put a light at the end of her tunnel of darkness. But now it was gone, she didn’t seem to have anything happy to look forward to. His death proved that the world was a horrible place. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>“Thank God!” A relived male voice sounded from behind her. “I called your mom and she said she hadn’t seen you, and your dad said he thought you were with me, so did your friends. I never would have guessed you would be here.” She just ignored him. Part of the reason she was here was to get away from him. He just brought back more memories.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>“What made you change you mind about coming back here? You had sworn you would never come back here after his…” She just shrugged lightly. He knew not to press any further. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>He could only imagine how much she must miss him. He knew how much he missed the little guy, it was much worse for her. That boy was a live spirit. He was not ADD or ADHD, he just loved life and being active. He remembered going to their house a little over a year ago. She had warned him that her brother was hyper but he figured it was just her. But he was wrong, that little guy attached his hip and they spent hours were each other out. He would never let the memory go of sitting in their living room one night with that little speed demon draped a crossed his lap, sleeping. He looked so much like her, the nose that was a perfect shape and those hazel eyes. They two things he adored in her were laying in his lap on another little being.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>A single teat ran down his check. He made no action to hide it. He knew she would not thing of his as any less macho. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">“I just miss his [i]<i style="mso-bidi-font-style:normal">so[/i]</i> much,” She sobbed. “Every minute, of every hour, I can’t get over the fact that he’s no longer in this world!”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">“A part of me wants to lie to you and tell you it will get better. But I have that same feeling and it doesn’t seem to be fading,” She looked up at him. She discovered that he too was crying. This caused her to loose her breath for a second. She was not the only one grieving, though it did seem like it at home. He had done something other than try and tame the boy. He had ran with him, he had embraced that happiness that the little guy brought to life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="mso-tab-count:1"> </span>He too sank to his knees landing in front of her. He wrapped his arms around her, it was something he had wanted to do long before he baby brother had asked if they were dating. She returned the gesture by sinking into his chest and sobbing on to his shirt. He didn’t even think about it. They were both went and muddy from the rain.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">She felt so good in his arms. She wanted to stay that way forever and never have to leave and face the world of people and their sympathy. All of them are the same, with that same look on there faces. A flash of the week before came to her mind, when everything was normal. He had wanted to have the same exact lunch as her. She had talked him out of it. She didn’t want him to be the same she wanted him to be different. But now she would give anything for him to be the same as her in everyway, as long as one of those ways was being alive. She just wanted him here. For he little baby brother to be alive, to be the wild little 6 year old again.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">“I love you,” He whispered into her ear. She went limp in his arm like a rag doll. The spontaneous ‘I love you’ was what made her lover her baby brother so much, but he was gone now all she has now is the love of her life. She hadn’t seen it before now but that is what this strong male wrapped around her was to her, the love of her life. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in">“I love you more,” she replied, he knew from countless nights over at their house that that was the way she had responded to her brother. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">He lifted her jaw up and softly placed his lips to hers. Suddenly she saw a new light at the end of the tunnel.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-3154238505463273792008-11-24T21:33:00.002-05:002008-11-24T22:05:59.753-05:00ONE DAYOMG bails coming tomorrow and i can't even type. I'm so hyper!!!!<div><br /></div><div>Lifes good yepp.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't really feel like writing anything special over christmas I will. Uh...</div><div><br /></div><div>Spanish project due Wensday. Its almost done and it looks AWESOME</div><div><br /></div><div>I also have a LA paper due tomorrow and I just put the final touches on it and I'll plug it in tomorrow when we type it and print it out. God then I'll have to read all hour. Maybe me and evona could go to the library and read lol. like we would do much reading and were goody goodys so the librarian will just let us have our fun. </div><div><br /></div><div>Im making a christmas list. So far I have A printer, DC's, and i'm looking for a hoodie cuz i really want a name brand one.</div><div><br /></div><div>So I've been goin back and forth between the rat and Trevor. Idk I'm just weird. I was listening to Sk8ter Boi and I was like if my skater boy asked me out I would not say no lol, some guys look goos in baggy clothes lol and screw what my friends think i would not do what that song says.</div><div><br /></div><div> Well I guess thats kind long lol yea right</div><div><br /></div><div>Love Y'all</div><div><br /></div><div>NAT</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-11583258745095917032008-11-17T20:43:00.000-05:002008-11-17T20:53:13.963-05:00TodayToday was weird. I don't know something was off. Maybe because Evona wasn't at school. I'm used to being with her all day so I'm sure I have some kind of separation anxiety lol. Trevor today was in a weird mood. He would be happy and talkin with me and then he was all like reserved. Maybe its just me or maybe it's just a Monday. I'm having a 'party' the 13th so I'm working on planning that.<div>Other then that I really don't feel like typing much just wanted to update so I didn't look like I only did it once a week. Oh yea we lost our game Saturday so that maybe why everyone was so down today. Maybe this is what it feels like as a school when you lose Regionals. Which is what happened.</div><div><br /></div><div>O well tomorrows another day</div><div><br /></div><div>Nat</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-88485401799514401152008-11-12T22:23:00.000-05:002008-11-12T22:24:45.582-05:00Personalized<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">So this update is just like my personal life lol, idk what topic to write about so what better then my life :)<br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; ">Ok so I am like really hyper right now. I have no idea why. I'm starting to get over my cold. That may be why. Or that its been two days and no one has been pissed at more or me being pissed at someone! lol that may be why. I can not wait for the game on saturday! I have no idea why. I think its because secretly I love riding the bus. idk why but I do. Its fun most of the time. I'm ganna take my camera and want to get pics with my bffs even tho well probably have our uniform on. CUZ WERE BAND GEEKS o yea loud and proud lol. What the truth? I hate the uniform and would be goin to the game anyway. Cuz lately I love football and like to go to the games and be and Evona have been going to alot of them together. I'm also SUPER excited about DC. Its ganna be AWESOME. I'm just worried about who will be in our room! I'm even more excited about it because Trevor's going. And lately I've been liking him more. Idk why maybe cuz I got so freaked out when he was ignoring me and I was worried that he would stay mad and never talk to me again. But I think I just took what I do and thats what he would do but he didn't now I know I will NEVER do that to someone again. Because if every one takes it the way I do, then I fell horrible about ignoring them. I don't think I like "the rat" much I haven't talked to him in forever. Erin says he scares her. I have no idea how he does but w/e. Lmao my mom is taking two people (if one can go) that he barley know to the game which is 3 hours away plus my brother. So shes going to have fun lol. I have to find a dollar to take to school for our feista in spanish on friday. I was arguing with Austin today in spanish and we were like he keep banging on the table so I clicked my pen on his arm but then Trevor started moving our (me and Austins) table back. LMAO Austin told on him and Trevor got told in spanish to leave his legs under his table lol. Trevor must have been peeved because Austin can do anything in that class and I can even yell it at the teacher what he's doing and she wont even be fazed. </div><div style="text-align: center; "><br /></div><div style="text-align: center; ">Well Thats All For Now! </div><div style="text-align: center; ">Luv y'all</div><div style="text-align: center; ">Nat<br /></div><br /></div><div><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_16IjFxPsl_Q/SRuYj0szovI/AAAAAAAAACA/7O3jb4TxT7A/s1600-h/big.283578.jpg"><blockquote></blockquote><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 170px; height: 170px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_16IjFxPsl_Q/SRuYj0szovI/AAAAAAAAACA/7O3jb4TxT7A/s320/big.283578.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5267971930349347570" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">So true</span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-87567748192562063912008-11-08T21:30:00.000-05:002008-11-09T01:49:25.093-05:00Being And Getting Mad At People<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0); "></span></span></span></div><blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0); ">“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0); ">“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us”</span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-family:Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204); ">“A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.”</span></span></span></div></blockquote><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(not from me from </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre; font-family:'Lucida Grande';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">http://thinkexist.com/)</span></span></span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Okay, I am talking from experience when I say that if you are mad, ignoring, or hating, someone that you think about them ALOT. Whenever you see then your look away. You think about how your going to react if they try to apologize or talk to you, or in some cases provoke you. Some people who has never actually had anger toward someone would probably say that they would think hating/ignoring some one was easy as pie and you just don't think of them ever again. But they are wrong. <br /></div><div><br /></div><div>When I get mad at someone I debate on how mad I am. I see if I should just blow it off. Which is easier said then done but it is possible. You just kinda of just lightly being the subject up not showing that your mad and it most the time goes away. Some of the time the problem can't just be blown off. It something that really made and impact on you. But it's not so big that it can't be worked out by talking to the person about the subject and figuring out ways to fix it. Last there's that thing or thing's that cause you to not even think twice about talking to them the next day. You can't stand the thought of them being there. And yet that all you can think about.</div><div><br /></div><div>You think oh god there ganna be there next hour GRR! You debate on how long your going to be mad. At least a few time a day you look at them and think do they care that I'm not talking to them? </div><div><br /></div><div>I was resolutely on the other end of that anger. I was the one being ignored. I seriously now am feeling bad for all the time that I have ignored someone. Just thinking about the future, cuz I know that I will be mad again, I will now try and work things out and not ignore people. I will accept apologies and forgive and forget the best I can. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(204, 51, 204);">Personal UPDATE!</span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Football Game on the 7th. WE WON!!! 27-14 I went with one of my bff's and our moms and little brothers. WE HAD A BLAST. At the game we sat on the bleachers in the handicap spots and wrapped up in blankets. At half-time being the band geeks we are we snuck to the other side with our brothers and watched the band. They only had 24 people and didn't play and rock music, which compared to our guitar hero show we played this season is weird. Then we waited in a long line for hot chocolate with out spazes finally got the front and found out they didn't have any. I think it was the girls fault and didn't know that hot coco and hot chocolate were the same thing. Later we got some at Mickey D's and my necklace pendent fell down my shirt and I had like three on so I had to like dance to get it out while some random guy was reading our shirts and was like wheres that at? (or team and town was on your shirts) Then later we went though town honking the fight song and drove around the school parking lot doing it to lol. It was awesome!</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_16IjFxPsl_Q/SRZ-MFE0RVI/AAAAAAAAABI/wmTGaWAEyvY/s1600-h/HPIM3565.JPG"><img style="cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 138px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_16IjFxPsl_Q/SRZ-MFE0RVI/AAAAAAAAABI/wmTGaWAEyvY/s320/HPIM3565.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5266535560242283858" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:verdana;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">M</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">y</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">Spaz</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">F</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">o</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">o</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">t</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">b</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">a</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">l</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">l</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">P</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">l</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 51);">a</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">y<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 0);">e</span>r</span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Luv y'all</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Nat</span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-57866888746786194862008-11-02T23:13:00.000-05:002008-11-09T01:27:28.416-05:00Music RelationshipsYou sit there in silence you just told each other things that would determine you relationship forever. I guess its kind of like sitting there just before you signed your divorce papers against each other, then suddenly remember the CD you bought last week. You remember his great taste in rock music and how he was the one that told you about the band in the first place. So without thinking you ask him if he's heard that CD before and if he thinks its good. Then next thing you know your talking like the separation never happen. Then it gets silent for a moment and you know your both think about the same the pretty much, that things are confusing. And what would happen if you tare the papers to pieces and forget about the separation that had caused you to get a divorce lawyer and the betrayal that caused the separation. But as you think about it more you remember the pain and wonder if you can ever get over that. The short pause had turned in to a moment of silence and now there was nothing. All there was to do next was to sign the papers and hand them to the lawyer and bid your farewells.<div><br /></div><div>And yet you didn't sign them you skipped that little detail. You handed the papers back and instead of saying goodbye for forever you said to call later. <br /><div><br /></div><div>In a way that happened to be today. Only tone it down to high school drama, and that me and him were just friends, and that it was just him telling some juvenile secret, but other then that thats what happened. I told him I was no longer mad at him and that we should cut things off with each other. But the love for music came in the way.</div><div><br /></div><div>But the bigger thing is I forgave him! I talked to him with out swearing. I made things normal. And no matter how much I told myself I wouldn't let it be like last time. It was going to be different. I had told him that this time I couldn't go back, to make it normal again, to give him the chance to gain the trust back. And yet thats what happened, well happening. I can't stop it now. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now I have that indescribable feeling. The 'oh my god I told my self I wasn't going to do that and yet I just did' feeling. I've had it countless times now. And ye tit doesn't surprise me even thought I got that EXACT feeling after last time I forgave him, I did it again.</div><div><br /></div><div>Music does weird things to people. Rock. Country. Metal. Alternative. They each have there effects of people. </div></div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-84551831674566629602008-10-29T21:51:00.000-04:002008-11-09T01:29:13.723-05:00Trusting GuysI have pretty much lost my trust in guys. I have always been iffy about trusting people. And a few guys have flown there loyalty flags and it seems to be that none of them are flying my colors. My secrets are being told. The one thats really hitting home is coming from a guy that has worked half the summer to gain my trust back when he lost it in the end of June. I really thought I could trust him again but now I know I can't and that I can no longer tell him things. At the moment I'm not being very friendly. Although another guy that broke my trust I expected and in a way I wanted him to tell. I only told him certain things that I wanted the person that he was telling to know. <div><br /></div><div>An yet I haven't given up on trusting guys. I have a bff that only know one or two 'important' things ands hes keep to himself. Which hows that I have a flag from him. Also one that knows tons but he has no idea what's important. I just know that hes keep others secerts and thats the type of guy he is. So another flag there. </div><div><br /></div><div>I know that if I said guys are just as bad at keeping secrets as girls it would be right. So I'm pretty much learning that just about any will tell a secret if there's enough temptation. Life is a new lesson everyday you life it and guys are WAY for harder to figure out then girls.</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8624177935420412436.post-41861912244078272502008-10-29T21:21:00.000-04:002008-10-29T21:44:39.756-04:00Why is spelling so important?<div style="text-align: center;">What is one of the qualities that you take about in a software that has typing? Spell check. Spelling its a grade on your report card in elementary school. Its a requirement for a good paper. It has it own Bee's (spelling bees).<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Why is spelling so important? I am a horrible speller. I remember back in 5th grade, that was the thing I struggled in. I've always been shining in everything thats academic and the only thing that I can't seem to master (besides algebra) is spelling. If I study the word I can learn to spell it. But I can't to that for every word in the dictionary. There's no way I could, I'm being serious my attention spanned is not that long unless I'm really truly interested. Just today I got a paper back that I worked my ass off to write and I lost 10 points of the 31 on my spelling errors and now my grade is down because writing is the biggest part of our grade. So now I have a B+ in that class. Next quarter I'm ganna try and go for all A's. I do that now but I mean I'm ganna actually study for tests. Like right now should be studying how to spell my spanish numbers for my Chapter test in spanish tomorrow. There again with spelling. I don't see why its so horrible if its a letter off you can still read it and its not like I'm using words I can't pronounce. I know them I just right them down how I sound them out. Which always seems to be wrong. I think I have a memorization problem. And thats why I can't hear a phone number and then write it. I have to hear it as I write it. Idk if its because I have a fear of messing up and causesing something to go wrong or if I just don't try hard enough. </div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">O well I dont see the point in spelling this DEAD ON when you can still read it if it wrong. So what if I put and e instead of y in the work embryo. Sounds the same to me. And when I leave out the s in conclusion, it should be 'tion' anyways so get over it. If your close enough it shouldn't matter.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Spelling can go to... English Book. God what did you think I was going to say lol</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Luv y'all</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Natly</div>Franciscahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04515122452186159639noreply@blogger.com0