Being And Getting Mad At People

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us”

“A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.”

(not from me from http://thinkexist.com/)

Okay, I am talking from experience when I say that if you are mad, ignoring, or hating, someone that you think about them ALOT. Whenever you see then your look away. You think about how your going to react if they try to apologize or talk to you, or in some cases provoke you. Some people who has never actually had anger toward someone would probably say that they would think hating/ignoring some one was easy as pie and you just don't think of them ever again. But they are wrong. 

When I get mad at someone I debate on how mad I am. I see if I should just blow it off. Which is easier said then done but it is possible. You just kinda of just lightly being the subject up not showing that your mad and it most the time goes away. Some of the time the problem can't just be blown off. It something that really made and impact on you. But it's not so big that it can't be worked out by talking to the person about the subject and figuring out ways to fix it. Last there's that thing or thing's that cause you to not even think twice about talking to them the next day. You can't stand the thought of them being there. And yet that all you can think about.

You think oh god there ganna be there next hour GRR! You debate on how long your going to be mad. At least a few time a day you look at them and think do they care that I'm not talking to them? 

I was resolutely on the other end of that anger. I was the one being ignored. I seriously now am feeling bad for all the time that I have ignored someone. Just thinking about the future, cuz I know that I will be mad again, I will now try and work things out and not ignore people. I will accept apologies and forgive and forget the best I can. 

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Personal UPDATE!

Football Game on the 7th. WE WON!!! 27-14 I went with one of my bff's and our moms and little brothers. WE HAD A BLAST. At the game we sat on the bleachers in the handicap spots and wrapped up in blankets. At half-time being the band geeks we are we snuck to the other side with our brothers and watched the band. They only had 24 people and didn't play and rock music, which compared to our guitar hero show we played this season is weird. Then we waited in a long line for hot chocolate with out spazes finally got the front and found out they didn't have any. I think it was the girls fault and didn't know that hot coco and hot chocolate were the same thing. Later we got some at Mickey D's and my necklace pendent fell down my shirt and I had like three on so I had to like dance to get it out while some random guy was reading our shirts and was like wheres that at? (or team and town was on your shirts) Then later we went though town honking the fight song and drove around the school parking lot doing it to lol. It was awesome!

My Spaz Football Player

Luv y'all

Nat

Music Relationships

You sit there in silence you just told each other things that would determine you relationship forever. I guess its kind of like sitting there just before you signed your divorce papers against each other, then suddenly remember the CD you bought last week. You remember his great taste in rock music and how he was the one that told you about the band in the first place. So without thinking you ask him if he's heard that CD before and if he thinks its good. Then next thing you know your talking like the separation never happen.  Then it gets silent for a moment and you know your both think about the same the pretty much, that things are confusing. And what would happen if you tare the papers to pieces and forget about the separation that had caused you to get a divorce lawyer and the betrayal that caused the separation. But as you think about it more you remember the pain and wonder if you can ever get over that. The short pause had turned in to a moment of silence and now there was nothing. All there was to do next was to sign the papers and hand them to the lawyer and bid your farewells.

And yet you didn't sign them you skipped that little detail. You handed the papers back and instead of saying goodbye for forever you said to call later. 

In a way that happened to be today. Only tone it down to high school drama, and that me and him were just friends, and that it was just him telling some juvenile secret,  but other then that thats what happened. I told him I was no longer mad at him and that we should cut things off with each other. But the love for music came in the way.

But the bigger thing is I forgave him! I talked to him with out swearing. I made things normal. And no matter how much I told myself I wouldn't let it be like last time. It was going to be different. I had told him that this time I couldn't go back, to make it normal again, to give him the chance to gain the trust back. And yet thats what happened, well happening. I can't stop it now. 

Now I have that indescribable feeling. The 'oh my god I told my self I wasn't going to do that and yet I just did' feeling. I've had it countless times now. And ye tit doesn't surprise me even thought I got that EXACT feeling after last time I forgave him, I did it again.

Music does weird things to people. Rock. Country. Metal. Alternative. They each have there effects of people.