Today

Today was weird. I don't know something was off. Maybe because Evona wasn't at school. I'm used to being with her all day so I'm sure I have some kind of separation anxiety lol. Trevor today was in a weird mood. He would be happy and talkin with me and then he was all like reserved. Maybe its just me or maybe it's just a Monday. I'm having a 'party' the 13th so I'm working on planning that.

Other then that I really don't feel like typing much just wanted to update so I didn't look like I only did it once a week. Oh yea we lost our game Saturday so that maybe why everyone was so down today. Maybe this is what it feels like as a school when you lose Regionals. Which is what happened.

O well tomorrows another day

Nat

Personalized

So this update is just like my personal life lol, idk what topic to write about so what better then my life :)

Ok so I am like really hyper right now. I have no idea why. I'm starting to get over my cold. That may be why. Or that its been two days and no one has been pissed at more or me being pissed at someone! lol that may be why. I can not wait for the game on saturday! I have no idea why. I think its because secretly I love riding the bus. idk why but I do. Its fun most of the time. I'm ganna take my camera and want to get pics with my bffs even tho well probably have our uniform on. CUZ WERE BAND GEEKS o yea loud and proud lol. What the truth? I hate the uniform and would be goin  to the game anyway. Cuz lately I love football and like to go to the games and be and Evona have been going to alot of them together. I'm also SUPER excited about DC. Its ganna be AWESOME. I'm just worried about who will be in our room! I'm even more excited about it because Trevor's going. And lately I've been liking him more. Idk why maybe cuz I got so freaked out when he was ignoring me and I was worried that he would stay mad and never talk to me again. But I think I just took what I do and thats what he would do but he didn't now I know I will NEVER do that to someone again. Because if every one takes it the way I do, then I fell horrible about ignoring them. I don't think I like "the rat" much I haven't talked to him in forever. Erin says he scares her. I have no idea how he does but w/e. Lmao my mom is taking two people (if one can go) that he barley know to the game which is 3 hours away plus my brother. So shes going to have fun lol. I have to find a dollar to take to school for our feista in spanish on friday. I was arguing with Austin today in spanish and we were like he keep banging on the table so I clicked my pen on his arm but then Trevor started moving our (me and Austins) table back. LMAO Austin told on him and Trevor got told in spanish to leave his legs under his table lol. Trevor must have been peeved because Austin can do anything in that class and I can even yell it at the teacher what he's doing and she wont even be fazed. 

Well Thats All For Now! 

Luv y'all

Nat

So true

Being And Getting Mad At People

“Hate is too great a burden to bear. It injures the hater more than it injures the hated.”

“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us”

“A woman either loves or hates; she knows no medium.”

(not from me from http://thinkexist.com/)

Okay, I am talking from experience when I say that if you are mad, ignoring, or hating, someone that you think about them ALOT. Whenever you see then your look away. You think about how your going to react if they try to apologize or talk to you, or in some cases provoke you. Some people who has never actually had anger toward someone would probably say that they would think hating/ignoring some one was easy as pie and you just don't think of them ever again. But they are wrong. 

When I get mad at someone I debate on how mad I am. I see if I should just blow it off. Which is easier said then done but it is possible. You just kinda of just lightly being the subject up not showing that your mad and it most the time goes away. Some of the time the problem can't just be blown off. It something that really made and impact on you. But it's not so big that it can't be worked out by talking to the person about the subject and figuring out ways to fix it. Last there's that thing or thing's that cause you to not even think twice about talking to them the next day. You can't stand the thought of them being there. And yet that all you can think about.

You think oh god there ganna be there next hour GRR! You debate on how long your going to be mad. At least a few time a day you look at them and think do they care that I'm not talking to them? 

I was resolutely on the other end of that anger. I was the one being ignored. I seriously now am feeling bad for all the time that I have ignored someone. Just thinking about the future, cuz I know that I will be mad again, I will now try and work things out and not ignore people. I will accept apologies and forgive and forget the best I can. 

-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-

Personal UPDATE!

Football Game on the 7th. WE WON!!! 27-14 I went with one of my bff's and our moms and little brothers. WE HAD A BLAST. At the game we sat on the bleachers in the handicap spots and wrapped up in blankets. At half-time being the band geeks we are we snuck to the other side with our brothers and watched the band. They only had 24 people and didn't play and rock music, which compared to our guitar hero show we played this season is weird. Then we waited in a long line for hot chocolate with out spazes finally got the front and found out they didn't have any. I think it was the girls fault and didn't know that hot coco and hot chocolate were the same thing. Later we got some at Mickey D's and my necklace pendent fell down my shirt and I had like three on so I had to like dance to get it out while some random guy was reading our shirts and was like wheres that at? (or team and town was on your shirts) Then later we went though town honking the fight song and drove around the school parking lot doing it to lol. It was awesome!

My Spaz Football Player

Luv y'all

Nat

Music Relationships

You sit there in silence you just told each other things that would determine you relationship forever. I guess its kind of like sitting there just before you signed your divorce papers against each other, then suddenly remember the CD you bought last week. You remember his great taste in rock music and how he was the one that told you about the band in the first place. So without thinking you ask him if he's heard that CD before and if he thinks its good. Then next thing you know your talking like the separation never happen.  Then it gets silent for a moment and you know your both think about the same the pretty much, that things are confusing. And what would happen if you tare the papers to pieces and forget about the separation that had caused you to get a divorce lawyer and the betrayal that caused the separation. But as you think about it more you remember the pain and wonder if you can ever get over that. The short pause had turned in to a moment of silence and now there was nothing. All there was to do next was to sign the papers and hand them to the lawyer and bid your farewells.

And yet you didn't sign them you skipped that little detail. You handed the papers back and instead of saying goodbye for forever you said to call later. 

In a way that happened to be today. Only tone it down to high school drama, and that me and him were just friends, and that it was just him telling some juvenile secret,  but other then that thats what happened. I told him I was no longer mad at him and that we should cut things off with each other. But the love for music came in the way.

But the bigger thing is I forgave him! I talked to him with out swearing. I made things normal. And no matter how much I told myself I wouldn't let it be like last time. It was going to be different. I had told him that this time I couldn't go back, to make it normal again, to give him the chance to gain the trust back. And yet thats what happened, well happening. I can't stop it now. 

Now I have that indescribable feeling. The 'oh my god I told my self I wasn't going to do that and yet I just did' feeling. I've had it countless times now. And ye tit doesn't surprise me even thought I got that EXACT feeling after last time I forgave him, I did it again.

Music does weird things to people. Rock. Country. Metal. Alternative. They each have there effects of people. 

Trusting Guys

I have pretty much lost my trust in guys. I have always been iffy about trusting people. And a few guys have flown there loyalty flags and it seems to be that none of them are flying my colors. My secrets are being told. The one thats really hitting home is coming from a guy that has worked half the summer to gain my trust back when he lost it in the end of June. I really thought I could trust him again but now I know I can't and that I can no longer tell him things. At the moment I'm not being very friendly. Although another guy that broke my trust I expected and in a way I wanted him to tell. I only told him certain things that I wanted the person that he was telling to know. 

An yet I haven't given up on trusting guys. I have a bff  that only know one or two 'important' things ands hes keep to himself. Which hows that I have a flag from him. Also one that knows tons but he has no idea what's important. I just know that hes keep others secerts and thats the type of guy he is. So another flag there. 

I know that if I said guys are just as bad at keeping secrets as girls it would be right. So I'm pretty much learning that just about any will tell a secret if there's enough temptation. Life is a new lesson everyday you life it and guys are WAY for harder to figure out then girls.

Why is spelling so important?

What is one of the qualities that you take about in a software that has typing? Spell check. Spelling its a grade on your report card in elementary school.  Its a requirement for a good paper. It has it own Bee's (spelling bees).

Why is spelling so important? I am a horrible speller. I remember back in 5th grade, that was the thing I struggled in. I've always been shining in everything thats academic and the only thing that I can't seem to master (besides algebra) is spelling. If I study the word I can learn to spell it. But I can't to that for every word in the dictionary. There's no way I could, I'm being serious my attention spanned is not that long unless I'm really truly interested.  Just today I got a paper back that I worked my ass off to write and I lost 10 points of the 31 on my spelling errors and now my grade is down because writing is the biggest part of our grade. So now I have a B+ in that class. Next quarter I'm ganna try and go for all A's. I do that now but I mean I'm ganna actually study for tests. Like right now should be studying how to spell my spanish numbers for my Chapter test in spanish tomorrow. There again with spelling. I don't see why its so horrible if its a letter off you can still read it and its not like I'm using words I can't pronounce. I know them I just right them down how I sound them out. Which always seems to be wrong. I think I have a memorization problem. And thats why I can't hear a phone number and then write it. I have to hear it as I write it. Idk if its because I have a fear of messing up and causesing something to go wrong or if I just don't try hard enough. 

O well I dont see the point in spelling this DEAD ON when you can still read it if it wrong. So what if I put and e instead of y in the work embryo. Sounds the same to me. And when I leave out the s in conclusion, it should be 'tion' anyways so get over it. If your close enough it shouldn't matter.

Spelling can go to... English Book. God what did you think I was going to say lol

Luv y'all

Natly